Chronic pain is forever. There’s no cure.
Like any chronic condition it’s a frightening prospect to be told it’s never going away. That’s why learning to live with it is so important. Looking for quick fixes and easy answers never pan out. As with any long-term issue, diabetes, lung, renal, gastrointestinal or cardiovascular disease; it takes hard work and an awareness of what can help or worsen the process.
The diagnosis
For many it starts with doctor shopping, internet research, or friends’ input. Along the way there’s confusion, frustration- being told it’s all in your head or treated like a drug seeker just to find relief. Many providers are not up on the latest literature. They don’t understand it can be a history of multiple physical or emotional traumas or one inciting event to start the process. And in time escalate to all areas of the brain, making its localization difficult, if not impossible, to pinpoint.
Many patients have preconceived ideas of what can and can’t be done. Often telling me they’ve tried everything, but nothing helped. When they only tried a few available treatment options.
“I’m damaged and only pain pills work.”
“I don’t like needles so don’t talk about injections.”
“Telling me to exercise when I’m in agony is crazy.”
“Just cut it out.”
To,
“Surgery just made me worse.”
They are adamant their pain is real- of course it’s real, all pain is real– while rejecting the need for any emotional support or intervention for a chronic, debilitating problem. Accurate information is crucial.
Acceptance
How we hear and accept any long-term diagnosis is crucial. It defines how we ultimately respond and the potential for success. Certainly, a positive attitude helps. “Catastrophizing” – the behavior that tells us the pain is worse than ever and relief isn’t possible, is an important predictor of negative outcomes.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It just means changing from the “fix me mode,” to the “what can I do now mode.” It is essential in any chronic process in order to move forward.
And understanding pain doesn’t always mean harm. At this point it’s often a learned reaction that has to be tempered with reason.
Certain activities that can initially increase pain are worth pushing ourselves to do so the box we’re in gets expanded a little bit each day e.g. stretching, walking, socializing, working.
Shoulda, coulda , woulda… never helps
“I shouldn’t let my pain keep me from doing what I used to.”
“I could have moved that pot and not imposed on my family.”
“I would be better off if I just quit.”
Stopping the flight or fight cycle
Pain is meant to signal the body danger lurks, so we can fight or run away. But chronic pain causes the body to stay in a perpetual arousal mode, just waiting for a response that never happens. Just look at the brain with chronic pain above, it’s all lit up. That’s why calming the body and mind by releasing pent-up hormones and allowing them to return to a relaxed mode is so important. There are many ways this can be accomplished.
Exercise (what better way to simulate fighting or fleeing).
Meditation.
Guided imagery.
Distractions.
Music.
Scents.
Deep breathing.
Too many people refuse help, seeing it as a weakness when it’s really a strength. We don’t succeed on our own. As the saying goes, it takes a village. Together we move forward. As a society, as a community, as a family, as individuals. No one can do it alone.
Talk to your provider. There are amazing options that can help. Find one who understands and can offer more than a pill.
Ask and let others help, it feels good for both sides. We all give in our own way. You might not be able to help build a house, but you can walk with a friend, offering a great way to socialize, get outdoors and exercise all at the same time. Or call and touch base regularly, letting them know you care and are available to share.
Help comes in many forms.
Adapting
Life has changed. Things you used to do with ease take forever now or can’t be done at all. I get it. I can no longer jog several miles outside, lift heavy weights, or ski downhill. But those aren’t integral to a wonderful, fulfilling life.
Now, we have to plan our days, pace ourselves and set reasonable boundaries. now we have to adapt and learn not to overdo.
Other simple, often overlooked changes that can have dramatic impacts should be looked into as well:
Clothing
Jewelry
Shoes
Pajamas
Linens
Sleep hygiene
Eating an anti- inflammatory diet
Pacing yourself
Beds
Learning to live with it
This is the crucial final stage. Using all the mechanisms above and applying them as needed throughout the day.
Understanding the diagnosis and its long-term impacts.
Accepting life has changed and embracing what you can accomplish. Knowing each day the boundaries will fluctuate, expanding not receding, depending on you.
Doing everything possible to stop the fight or flight process and learn techniques to relax muscles and inflamed joints.
Changing your lifestyle to include a healthy diet, weight loss if needed to decrease stress on joints, exercise, pacing yourself, and most important giving yourself a break. There will be good and bad days. Ups and downs. As with any life struggle it takes tenacity, persistence and accepting it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Chronic pain is exhausting and overwhelming. Someone close to me, after experiencing back pain and sleepless nights for the first time, acknowledged how little they had truly understood what it has done to my life. The idea of that kind of pain never ending was overwhelming, yet here I was living with it daily. Too often it’s easy to diminish the long-term impact. To see that for us it’s like a constant drip of water. The power of which can erode mountains and creates canyons. Getting through the stages of chronic pain is an ongoing process.
Some days we’ll succeed, others days are difficult.
Moving forward, regardless the rate, is all that matters.
