I was wandering through the channels one night when I happen to come across ME TV- a station that plays old television series. Those I’m sure the majority of people under the age of 50 (too low?) have no clue what I’m referring to. Shows like the Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, The Adam’s Family, and Gilligan’s Island. The Andy Griffith Show was set in Mayberry R.F.D., anywhere USA. It was supposed to be a reflection of the times back in the early 60’s, when it debuted. The star was the congenial town sheriff who, along with his deputy, Barney Fife, kept minor issues from escalating among friendly townsfolk. A single parent, he lived with his Aunt Bee, who helped care for his young son, Opie Taylor.
We often wish for “the good old days. A time when, in our mind, everything was perfect. Of course that’s never true. Nothing was the way we remember. Human nature tends to blur the negatives and expand on the positives the further we’re away from them.
I was a baby when these shows were popular, so I too saw them in retrospect. As a sweet reminder of a bygone day when things seemed simpler, easier, calmer.
But they were never as TV presented. Against this sweet facade a tumultuous storm was brewing. The 1950’s were a time when people of color were openly terrorized and controlled by “separate but equal” laws. In an act of civil disobedience, Rosa Parks famously refused to move to the back of the bus in 1955, sparking the Civil Rights Movement. McCarthy spewed hate and his reign of terror in the name of anti-communism spanned the early 1950’s. Facts and the rule of law weren’t important. All that mattered was what one man thought. He wielded his power to destroy and intimidate others.
The vision of women as homemakers in the 1950’s radically changed in the 1960’s when they burned their bras as a sign of freedom, demanding equal rights at home and in the work force. Their voices and unwavering solidarity lead to the landmark decision, Roe v. Wade, passed in January of 1973. The Equal Rights Amendment that merely says, “No political, civil, or legal disabilities or inequalities on account of sex or on account of marriage, unless applying equally to both sexes, shall exist within the United States or any territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof,” actually passed Congress in 1972. But the 38th state required to ratify it into law- Virginia in 2020 – was two years past the deadline. Because of this iniquity it wasn’t until my divorce in 1994 I realized everything defaulted to my husband once we were married- gas, electric, water, cars, and mortgage. I actually had to prove financial viability to set up accounts in my own name, incurring large fees.
The 1960s were marked by street protests, demonstrations, rioting, civil unrest, anti- Vietnam war protests, and a cultural revolution. The cold war was so bad people were actually building bomb shelters in their backyards and I was taught how to survive a nuclear strike! As though teaching elementary school children standing under a doorway would prevent a bomb from killing them.
Through it all, TV wanted to depict harmony, calm, community.
The problem was, none of this was true, the facade was slipping.
But those old shows did remind me of a time I do miss. A time when we felt safe and trusting. A time when we knew that if anything happened, our neighbors would be there.
Back then we didn’t lock doors. When I was growing up, anyone could come through without a key. Often those knocking weren’t heard, so they’d enter yelling, “Hello, we’re here.” Without fear of being shot.
I remember being taught to cross a street on my way to 1st grade. In my little dress (girls couldn’t wear pants back then!) I was expected to walk the one block to and from school. No one ever imagined I’d be harmed when there was always a neighbor ready to help should the need arise.
In elementary school I could wander through the streets by myself with friends on Halloween. We’d even go inside houses to see their decorations or eat food. Congregating at local parks to play, we always knew the neighbors were watching, so inappropriate behavior like swearing, kissing, or smoking wasn’t possible.
That’s how I grew up, safe and comfortable I could depend on getting help from anyone, family or not.
The worst thing I had to worry about was the dress code and my homework. Not horrifying lockdowns, mass shootings, or abductions.
But that all started to change when an op-ed appeared in the New York Times on October 28, 1970 warning Halloween candy could be used to poison children. That’s when I felt a slight shift in the world. Being told to stay alert, not trust anyone, and easily opened candy thrown out by caring parents. This was also around the Vietnam War, when protests had escalated and a wedge between the young, chosen to die, and the older generation, began. The age of being seen but not heard, was over.
My daughter was raised in a different day and age. We were locked and alarmed even when inside our house or cars. I was much more protective knowing that bad things did happen. MySpace started when she was eleven. It opened up a vast array of enticements even I couldn’t prevent exposure to. It was available at all her friend’s houses. Posting pictures and data I ingrained in her not to share with strangers, too often going by the wayside because it was a nebulous, unseen arena. Not a person in your face.
Progress is wonderful. But not if we leave our humanity behind.
There’s no perfect world. Pretending there is just reinforces values and perspectives that don’t exist for the majority of Americans.
But there should be a sense of community, a feeling of safety for us all. Worrying we could be gunned down at any time, locked up in our own homes, isolated from even our neighbors has to stop.
The pandemic didn’t help. We’re just now starting to socialize again.
But this fear of being harmed, everyone is our enemy, not knowing our neighbors, breeds violence and chaos.
We all just want to be loved, liked and safe. Given the same opportunities to eat, work and grow as everyone else.
Next time you pass someone in the street, store, or work, smile and say hi. Ask if they’re having a good day.
It may not sound like much, but it’s a start.
If we all did as Pearl S Buck put it, “Know thy neighbor as thyself. That is, comprehend his hardships and understand his position, deal with his faults as gently as your own.” The world would be a far better place for everyone.
-https://www.history.com/news/how-americans-became-convinced-their-halloween-candy-was-poisoned
-https://www.history.com/topics/black-history/rosa-parks
-https://www.history.com/topics/cold-war/joseph-mccarthy
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