Pride. . .
It can mean several things.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
A reasonable self-esteem, self-respect or confidence in oneself
Pleasure that comes from a relationship, association, achievement or possession.
Something of which one is proud.
It is one of the seven deadly sins. A feeling you’re better than others. Or as the Proverb states, pride goes before a fall.
It’s a combination of authentic and hubristic. Authentic is when we feel confident, self-assured, hopeful. It promotes pro social behaviors. Hubristic is arrogance, conceit and promotes actions that only further one’s self interest. Authentic pride encourages rank based on earned respect. Hubristic wants dominance and control through aggression and coercion.
According to University of California, Davis, psychologist Jessica Tracy, PhD, there’s evidence of a universal pride expression, recognized from the streets of Davis, Calif., to the savannahs of Burkina Faso, Africa. Her studies lend support to the idea that pride is a basic human emotion that evolved to serve a social role.
“How we see that pride, its consequences and desired impact decides how it’s expressed. If you have an achievement or success, it’s important that other people know about it. It says: ‘I’m someone who shouldn’t be rejected.’ Although pride can serve a positive, productive purpose, it has a dark, destructive side too.”
Sometimes it holds us back.
Too many don’t have enough to propel them forward.
Then there are those who feel so much pride in who they are or what they have, they are sure it makes them superior and more important than others.
Either way, pride can be a problem, if it’s not balanced.
When we feel good about ourselves, we won’t allow others to trample on our boundaries or ignore our needs.
Pride can stimulate a change into better relationships , jobs, and encounters.
But in other circumstances pride can keep us from getting the attention we need – from a partner, child, friend, boss, etc. Too often it keeps us from asking for help or acknowledging when we have an issue.
Research has found hubristic pride correlates with arrogance and self- aggrandizement and promotes prejudice and discrimination. But authentic pride is associated with self-confidence and accomplishments and promotes more positive attitudes towards groups and individuals who are stigmatized or considered outcasts.
As discussed in a past post, shame is a self-conscious emotion. So is pride, both having positives and negatives.
Strong, confident, self respecting individuals don’t have to brag or puff themselves up.
But self-conscious, insecure people may feel the need to inflate and promote their worth all the time.
Those in between may withdraw into themselves and never shine or show their true abilities.
Pride is a double-edged sword.
It can be used to prove your worth, as with Mark Zuckerberg, when he created the multibillion-dollar Facebook to impress a girl who dumped him. It can propel us to aim higher especially when driven by a desire to achieve, answer a question or provide a service yet unknown-as with Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, and Steven Hawkins. Or it can demand fealty and unconditional authority.
It’s an important, evolutionary tool. It naturally elevates those who have skills others want or need. But those who have none, may choose to take leadership by force, using fear and violence to dominate. Like it or not, bully’s win. From the boardroom to the school yard.
Through the ages we’ve seen both achieve their goals. But that doesn’t mean hubristic pride is worth following. It always costs friends, money, relationships and ultimately health. Chronic anger, negativity, frustration is never healthy. Authentic pride motivates, escalates and helps us all to achieve incredible heights – landing on the moon, creating a unified front against tyranny, a democracy that’s been a beacon for over two hundred years, treatments for cancers and illnesses, and so much more. It’s what encourages us to be better people.
It has always been up to the individual, group, society, or country to decide under whose tutelage they prefer to exist.
