We all know someone struggling with “real problems.” The loss of a loved one. Cancer. Bankruptcy. Divorce.
Telling ourselves,
“I just have normal day to day issues.”
“They can’t possibly compare.”
“I don’t want to sound like I’m whining.”
But when we diminish our needs and concerns we create even more strife and frustration.
Yes, some problems are more catastrophic than others.
But that doesn’t mean all aren’t worth honoring.
When I was in medical school I lived with my sister and her family for a few months while I worked at a hospital in Phoenix. She was such a giving, loving woman but when it came to worries, she believed in a definite hierarchy, and gave those she perceived low on the list less attention. To the point it could feel like she was actually dismissing them.
When I tried to explain my belief that even a baby, struggling with teething, was as overwhelmed and all-consumed as someone trying to pay their mortgage, she laughed, believing it a ridiculous comparison.
When her son was repeatedly upset by all the homework he received she wrote it off, sure it was a silly concern in the scheme of things – all kids moan about their teachers and assignments.
But it wasn’t to a ten-year-old boy whose entire life revolves around school and home. Once heard and attended to, they realized he had ADD. A diagnosis handed out far too quickly in the 1980’s, but proved accurate when he was tested. Listening to his fears, hearing his concerns was key.
Diminishing, demeaning or dismissing them is only going to push those feelings inward, creating shame and guilt.
Yes, they will pass. As will the majority of all issues, eventually. But the heartache at the moment is very real and all too often feels endless. That’s the real issue. How it feels to that individual.
The world as we knew it ended when the pandemic hit. And far too many are sure the new one has passed them by.
Suicide rates reached a record high in 2023. The highest in 80 years. Nearly 50,000 Americans took their own lives, a 3% increase over 2021, according to the CDC. The numbers are worse for those over age 35 and rising the fastest among 55-64 year olds.
It’s a horrifying figure. Showing how isolated, scared and hopeless too many feel. Sure, the agony will never change.
The majority stay quiet.
No one has a clue, until it’s too late.
We’re too focused on looking good and presenting a perfect face, life, existence online, at work, and home. But that facade often hides enormous turmoil underneath and is impossible to maintain.
I recently heard an ad promoting a wonderful intervention.
A.S.K.
Acknowledge
Support
Keep in touch
It’s perfect! An easy acronym to remember to touch base and let those you love know they aren’t alone. That someone cares how they feel and whether they get up in the morning, or not.
Sending frequent texts takes just a few seconds,
“Have a great day.”
“Thinking of you.”
“Call if you need anything.”
They can make a huge difference.
Three little words can mean so much,
“How are you?”
Better yet, pick up the phone and actually talk.
Then set up a time to get together. That connection and contact can be life-saving to a drowning soul.
All you have to do is,
ASK.
-https://www.axios.com/2023/11/29/suicide-deaths-rates-record-high-2022-cdc
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