Tip/Thought of the Day

Moving Past Our Fears

Carey Grant, a famous movie star, was quoted as saying,

“I’m only as good as my last film.”

Human nature is a strange thing.

No matter how much we accomplish.

No matter the happiness, successes, love in our lives …

We tend to focus on the negative,

And worry about what might happen that will destroy it all.

Why is it we never feel safe?

Some say it’s a way to keep us on our toes, prevent apathy. Others say it’s our constant fear of failing and being alone that plagues us. Still others blame the world around us we can’t control. Especially when we see things can change in an instant.

Sadly, we’ve all seen or experienced horror stories these last few years. Who could have foreseen a global pandemic that shut down the entire planet? Has cost over a million lives? Left families devastated? Others dealing with chronic consequences? Russia invading Ukraine, causing death, destruction and ripples felt worldwide? A constantly changing economy and job market? A divisive political environment that has led people to question if freedom will continue to win over autocracy and an eruption of violence unseen in decades?

We certainly have a lot to fear.

It’s hard to remember Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s famous quote in his inaugural speech,

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

The mental anguish, worry and belief only bad outcomes are possible that fear promotes keeps us shackled and immobilized.

When it comes to survival, fear is a good thing. It alerts us to a potential danger or threat. It forces us to seek shelter or escape to survive. 

But in the absence of an actual life-threatening danger, all too often it’s more the fear of change, what people will think, or will we measure up that creates the turmoil.

It’s not fear, but-

F.E.A.R. – false evidence appears real

that restricts us.

This fear is more an illusion. Our own anxieties overwhelm us as we constantly play out the fantasy of what “might happen.”  This fear, fear of the unknown, keeps us stuck in a quagmire, preventing us from moving forward.

Too often we base future actions on past result.

I didn’t get the job or raise last time so why would I get it now?

I have been divorced twice how could I think I’d make a relationship work this time?

I’m worried about keeping my current job what makes me think I can apply for a better one? 

All F.E.A.R.s that stem from past perceived failures. None of which predict the future. Unless you’re doing the exact same thing and expecting different results (the meaning of insanity). But if you’re trying 999 different ways to make a light bulb as Edison did when he succeeded on the 1000th try, then it’s not failure but a process that required adapting and tweaking to find the ultimate success. Knowledge with each loss is what changes the likelihood of a better outcome with the next.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear it’s persevering in spite of it.

Knowing anything is possible but believing the ultimate goal is worth taking the risk.

Taking that leap of faith may not get you the prize you seek but it may get you to a place you never imagined possible.

Striving for something better pushes us to greater heights. 

Not appreciating what you have or believing in yourself when opportunities come along is a wonderful way to stagnate and lose out on incredible possibilities. 

Next time you don’t feel safe… think,

Is it real? 

Or is it my anxieties and insecurities taking over?

If the first, investigate why you’re feeling unsafe.

If the latter, believe in yourself, and jump. 

There is no journey without that first step. 

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