Awareness of our sexuality starts amazingly young and the differences between genders becomes apparent at an early age. By the time my daughter was about 2 1/2 years old, she started showing an interest in getting rid of her diapers and moving onto the big kid phase, the pull ups, and ultimately, underwear. But in order to do this, of course, she had to be potty trained.
She had a male cousin who was being potty trained at the same time. It became apparent very quickly that he did it differently than she did. In fact, she was hearing stories about submarines and shooting things and score cards. She wanted to know “Why, Mommy, can’t I do the same thing?” I explained to her the difference was that boys urinated standing up, whereas little girls had to do it sitting down. Biologically, this was just the way things were done.
It frustrated and upset her that something as simple as going to the bathroom could be so much fun for boys and not the same for girls. She demanded to stand up anyway, making quite a mess.. Allowing this to run its course, it became all too apparent there was no way she could overcome her own genetics or the fact that toilets were not made for girls to stand. She finally succumbed to that reality and moved on.
It seems like we do this most of our lives. Although there are biological and genetic differences we can’t argue about, maybe its time we start coming to terms with, and embracing, the ones we can.
-Dr. Courtney