While ‘tis the season to be merry, for many of us, it’s also a season for stress, anxiety and angst, which leads us to behave in ways we’re sure to regret later. In fact, the American Psychological Association found that nearly half of the United States experiences heightened emotions during the holidays. Which is why we often resort to bad habits. Studies show that 41% of people choose food (read here how to combat stress eating) and 28% choose alcohol. Others cave to sugar cravings (read how to cut back on holiday sugar, here) or overdose on caffeine. Feeling overwhelmed financially, pressed for time at work, overcome by loneliness or loss, annoyed by meddling relatives or losing patience with loved ones Is common.
Here are 15 tips to help relieve holiday stress:
Breathe deeply
Take several deep breaths and meditate or just relax. Imagine yourself in a beautiful place, think of a happy memory or visualize floating at the beach with a warm breeze on your face. Quieting your mind before you begin the day can get it off to a great start. It can also work miracles whenever you’re stressed out, anxious, or feel overwhelmed. Conscious, slow breathing can help you when you’re feeling frustrated tackling the large crowds, long lists of things to do, and lots of commitments. Try guided imagery, which is often used as a pain management tool. Guided imagery has been shown to effectively calm the mind and shut down the heightened nervous system response. It encompasses all the senses- sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch to what we’re feeling and thinking. By being immersed in a peaceful scenario, we control our heart rate, breathing so that our anxiety and cortisol levels decrease. Read here on how to effectively try guided imagery.
Shift your perspective
When people are pushy or irritating during this holiday season, tune into their motivations. Before you get annoyed at Aunt Jane, who keeps urging you to try a piece of her apple pie, or your co-worker Frank, who keeps trying to fill your glass with wine, take a deep breath. Try “reframing”, which focuses on changing your perspective. Moving away from potential assumptions about the situation and focusing on aspects that cause you less angst can make a world of difference. Think that Aunt Jane maybe spent hours trying to perfect that apple pie, excited for you to savor it. Or that Frank may have some social anxiety and has found that filling glasses is his way to connect with people and start a conversation.
Get moving
Research shows that physical activity not only boosts your fitness and energy levels but can also elevate your mood. Despite the many demands on your time, this is not the season to stop exercising. On average, people gain an average of 5-7 pounds during the holiday season, which is not just fueled by inactivity, but by eating more, consuming unhealthy foods, stress, and more. According to one study, when regular exercisers are inactive, they begin to feel depressed and fatigued after just one week. Exercise can also give you that much-acclaimed “runner’s high”- the release of feel-good neurotransmitters.
Enlist a side-kick
If family or work events are difficult for you, bring along a friend that puts you at ease. When uncomfortable conversations start, having somebody next to you that you trust and who understands you can be enough to give you a boost of confidence and ease stress. Having a buddy is a tried-and-true way to work through any stressful moment, and the holiday season is no exception.
Resist
Inevitably, at this time of year, you’ll be tempted with sugary, empty-calorie “treats” everywhere. Instead, opt for filling, low calories foods that grow on trees or in the ground (vegetables and fruits), healthy fats (such as olive oil and flax seeds), lean protein (such as fish and organic chicken) and legumes, nuts and seeds to be your most energetic, focused and happy self. Check out my posts on the added benefits nuts, protein, and legumes offer for weight loss and reduced pain. Now, that’s the ideal. But we all know restriction usually leads to caving into the temptation. While it’s best to choose healthier foods, another good strategy is to enjoy what you’re craving, but aim for smaller portions (see the next tip!).
Choose small portions
During the holidays, it’s easy to use, or over-use alcohol, sugar and caffeine to survive. The best way to stay healthy and happy is to limit consumption. When offered these and other “goodies,” take a few polite bites and sips and then choose to fill up on healthier foods instead. You and your waistline will be thankful later.
Make your lists, and check them twice
Prepare “how to survive the holiday” and “need to do” lists. Writing down all that you have to do during the holidays will help you to organize and allot the necessary time. It’ll also help to pare it down to what’s absolutely necessary and show successes as each one is crossed off. Be realistic, then start tackling them one at a time, alternating from one to the other. For example, after wrapping gifts, take time to work out. By alternating between lists, you won’t feel deprived, diminishing resentment and anger.
Be generous
One of the best ways to stay calm, content and cheerful this time of year is to be generous with your loved ones, co-workers and friends. This doesn’t mean spending a lot of money. You can be generous with your compliments, taking on errands or writing something to let them know how much you care. When you are creative with your gifts and thank you’s, people appreciate real, heartfelt sentiments. I don’t have all the gifts I’ve been given over the years, but I still have those special cards and handwritten notes. If you don’t have many family or friends in close proximity, remember that members of the Tucson community need support all year- and especially during the holiday season. Read here to find a few ideas on where to support the community this season.
Laugh it up
Laughter has been found to reduce stress, improve sleep, bonds you with others, releases endorphins, and can also help reduce pain. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing. And nothing diffuses anger and conflict quicker than a shared laugh. Looking at the funny side can put a situation into a different perspective and enable you to cope with stressful moments.
Take a break
When the pressure builds, before you explode- walk away. Take a break. Whether that’s outside for fresh air, to another room, or just to close your eyes and breathe. Take a minute before you respond and say something you might regret. In a situation where you can’t just walk away? Take a restroom break and wash your hands in warm water. Focus on the feel of the water on your hands. Gently massage your palms; the fleshy place between your index finger and thumb is called the hoku spot in traditional Chinese medicine. Applying firm pressure there for just 30 seconds can reduce stress and tension in your upper body. Smell the scent of the soap. Listen to the soothing sound of the water. Research shows that focusing on your senses can help reduce stress by distracting your mind with the sensations rather than what is causing you anxiety.
Other ideas include having a stress ball or worry stones (small, smooth stones that you can rub) in your pocket to combat stress without having to do anything other than reach into your pocket.
Acknowledge your feelings and reach out
If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season. But if you’re struggling, seek out support. There are many free grief support groups in the Tucson area (find one near you, here). If you’re in need of connecting with other people, volunteering or even local walking/hiking groups can be a great way to do so.
Be realistic
The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold onto and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
Set aside differences
Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and anxiety too.
Learn to say no
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no to a commitment, try to remove something else from your “to-do list” to make up for the lost time.
Rethink gifting
Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Instead, donate to a charity in someone’s honor. Make special, homemade gifts. Write a heartfelt note. A friend of mine and her family have started to “give the gift of no hassle”. The gift to each other is the absence of having to run around, trying to discover the “ideal” present. Instead, they focus on spending time together. Sometimes they mix it up and exchange gag gifts with one other family member via a drawing- one year Grandpa received somebody’s extra power cord and a cousin received a ziplock with a few dryer sheets! It hardly takes a few minutes to gather, but the laughs are plentiful, and the stress is low.
Don’t let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend this time of year. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can have a wonderful season.
Happy holidays to all!
-https://www.uhhospitals.org/blog/articles/2020/04/how-physical-touch-can-reduce-anxiety